Losing a pet is a heartbreaking experience. Pets are often considered family members or children, loyal companions, and sources of unconditional love. Although you know that your pet will eventually die, that does not lessen your sometimes overwhelming grief. Our Santa Monica Veterinary Group team wants you to understand that mourning is okay and that the grieving process will take time. Here, we share eight tips for healthy ways to cope with pet loss.

1: Allow yourself to grieve your pet

Grief is a natural response to loss. Many people experiencing loss attempt to push away their feelings, but allowing yourself to mourn can help you work through the pain. Avoid comparing your grief with someone else’s or a previous loss, as every person and situation is different. Whatever you feel is valid.

2: Create a pet memorial

Creating a pet memorial or remembrance item can be helpful in the healing process. You could plant a tree, place a plaque in the garden, make a scrapbook, or order jewelry made from their ashes. Holding a small ceremony, lighting a candle, or writing a letter to your pet can help you feel closure.

3: Seek support from friends or family who knew your pet

Talking through your grief can help. Reach out to friends or family members who understand the bond you shared with your pet, but avoid conversations with those who don’t have pets, as they may unintentionally belittle your feelings. Online or in-person support groups can also provide a safe space to share stories and thoughts.

4: Don’t ignore your physical health

Grief can affect your physical and emotional well-being. To offset the effects of stress on your body, ensure you eat well, get enough sleep, see the sun, get outside, and move your body. Alcohol consumption and other harmful behaviors are counterproductive and can make you feel worse. A therapist or counselor can help you find healthy outlets for grief such as journaling or starting a new exercise class.

5: Create a new tradition in your pet’s memory

Creating a new tradition in your pet’s memory can keep their spirit alive and help you turn their death into a positive for the world. You may wish to choose a special date, such as your pet’s birthday, to donate to an animal charity, volunteer at a shelter, or spend the day doing an activity you and your pet enjoyed together. 

6: Consider adopting a new pet

Some people find that bringing home a new pet helps them heal, but you should do this only If and when you feel ready. Adopting a new pet too soon can lead to feelings of resentment toward the new pet, but you shouldn’t feel guilty if having a four-legged friend in the house is what you need to move forward. Your relationship with your pet was special and unique, and your relationship with a new pet does not negate or erase it.

7: Understand that mourning your pet takes time

Most people know that denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance are the five stages of grief, but they aren’t always linear. You may jump from stage to stage, feel better for a while, then feel worse again. Be patient with yourself and recognize that healing takes time and everyone’s journey looks a little different.

8: Seek professional counseling services that specialize in pet loss

Grief that feels overwhelming, persists for an extended period, or interferes significantly with your daily life may warrant professional help. A therapist or counselor with training in pet loss grief can provide you with tools and support to navigate your emotions and learn to restructure your life without your pet. Do not feel ashamed that you need help to move forward, as identifying and addressing this need shows self-awareness and maturity.

Losing a pet is a personal and often painful experience. Allow yourself the space to grieve, seek support from others, and find ways to honor your pet’s memory. Our Santa Monica Veterinary Group team can help you navigate your pet’s care needs from puppyhood and kittenhood to their final days. Contact us for assistance in planning end-of-life care and to learn more about local pet loss support resources.